Oy Ve! Who Knew?

Let me set the record straight - I'm not Jewish. Not a week goes by that someone doesn't ask me if I am Jewish. I take no real offense to that. In fact, maybe I'm kind of an honorary Jew. When I was in dental school, one of my classmates even insisted that "with a name and a nose like that, you're definitely a Jew". That's fine. In fact, I almost like to perpetuate the ambiguity of it all. I get a small amount of mischievous joy out of watching people squirm when they just assume that I am Jewish, only to have egg on their face when I correct them. After all, isn't it so presumptuous of people to take something like that at face value? I personally kind of find it rude to inquire with somebody I don't know very well about their religion. Same goes for political predilection. Those are personal matters. But all in good fun.

My good friend Paul, who is Jewish, sent me this link called www.my-hebrew-name.com, where you can enter your name and it gives you the closest Hebrew version. He totally wants me to get in touch with my Jewish non-Jewish roots. My name, Bernard, is a pretty old-skool European name, so naturally about 4 different choices came up. I chose the coolest-sounding of the bunch (see below). Now I can totally work the whole faux-Jew schtick! What a badass Jewish dentist name: Dr. Barzilai Hofmann D.M.D., treating Jewish and gentile teeth alike since 1996! I'm getting all ferklempt!